17 till 27 february (English)

Herpes simplex?!

Friday, February 17th was the day. I had an appointment at the hospital and I would now really find out what's wrong. I was happy to get there, because I couldn't get my eye open in daylight. From school I drove towards the hospital, this was around 10.00 am. The children then break and because of that I would probably be back in time ...

In the waiting area there were, with all due respect, just older people. The average age must be between 60 to 70. It had all the appearance of that most of them had their eyes tested or something similar. I was there within a very different problem of course. First, I was called by an assistant. She was doing all kinds of standard eye-tests. That went fine, though she saw that I had some trouble with the light. To remedy this she did put some drops in my eye. First a yellow drop to numb the eye and one drop to get the pupil a bit wider. Then I was sent to Dr. Moes, the "real" eye specialist. His first response was very clear: "Wow, that doesn’t look nice." He looked with different colored lights in the eye, despite the anesthetic, I had trouble keeping the eye open. His conclusion was that it’s indeed a bacterial infection. For a moment he thought of a herpes, but it was not very clear to see. It seems to be so that you reach a branching herpes in the eye. This was not at all obvious. To improve diagnosis, he sent me home for the week with a soothing ointment. I forgotten the name…

After the hospital visit, I am indeed drove back to my work. It was clear that I couldn't finish that day unharmed.

Saturday 18 and Sunday, February 19 there was something different in the eye. The intention was that it would be quieter, but instead it became worse. I decided to relax that weekend. As the weekend was progressed the eye gets worse. It was red and I was slightly couldn’t tolerated light.  Fortunately, I had no pain. Sunday I not go to my work. Maud and I didn’t dare to wait another week on Monday and so we went to the hospital again. Dr. Moes was shocked when he saw me appear and was somewhat surprised that I could so bad tolerate daylight. After another inspection diagnosis was clear: "Sir, you have herpes simplex in the eye, which is almost inevitable. We are on time fortunately, because with this disease people can be blind." I did not know what I was thinking of this and apparently this visible on my face. "Are you quite sure?" I asked him. He replied: "Not quite, but it has all appearances. Friday, February 24th, you come back." Again I got a cream to take home. The drug called Acyclovir Zovirax and he ordered me to put it 5 times a day in the eye.

The following days went again dramatically. Sometimes it seemed a little better, but maybe this had more to do with my mood. I felt no further ill and I decided to make the best of it. Most of the time I sat in a darkened bedroom. Fortunately we have blackout curtains. Sometimes I just walked into the kitchen to eat or drink and I went, not unimportant, occasionally to the toilet. I spent my time listening to the replay of television programs. Really look was too much to ask, because the screen was too bright. Also reading, work on the computer or other things you need to light, I hit on. Dinner was a chore. I did that in a dark corner of the room and then went right back into the bedroom. My world was small and quite literally I lived a hermit existence. The salving we did very consistent. I am writing WE, because it was almost impossible for me to do this alone. Maud helped me to continue and if she were working, I tried it myself. A hassle, because the cream is almost as thick as Vaseline.

The above process was very gradual. If an assassin my eye made me activities more and more impossible. The lowest point for the week came Friday. On the way to the hospital it was impossible to keep my eyes open. To alleviate suffering, I hold a towel before my eyes. Maud helped me to across the streets. It gave some frustration sometimes, because I was insensitive to pavement edges and other obstacles. Normally you do not pay attention, but the road seemed a maze of obstacles. All the people talking, animals and vehicles sounds were double decibels. I was pleased to see Dr. Moes again. There will probably be see some progress. His first reaction was again typical: "Gosh, you're even walking with a towel? Are you really so bothered by the light?" After my confirmation he understood that it was serious. After another check he was still convinced that I had herpes. Maud and I hesitated and asked, "Isn’t it better if I still go to the another eye-hospital?" Dr. Moes said: "It is not necessary, Monday I will be watching a colleague of mine. She has years of experience and also worked in the eye- hospital." So I went back home and still only used Zovirax gel.

Monday, February 27 I went with Frans (the husband of my mother) to the hospital. Still I held a towel before my eye. It's funny how I was orientating in a different way. So I felt the corners and stops. The movements that go with them gave me a point of recognition. This time Frans escorted me to the right desk. We were indeed welcomed by another doctor, Dr. Tobos. I found out she wasn’t very sympathetic. She forgot to shake hands with Frans and seemed not much to worry about the situation. After a short check, it was no more; she was convinced of herpes. After 2 minutes (!) I was back outside. Friday, March 2, on the day of my brother’s birthday, I could come back. Fortunately, not with her because I found her rather curtly. Dr. Moes would just consider it further.

The rest of the week was a bit worse. I did not think it was worse, but this proved the case. The eye was redder and again there was almost no white to be seen. In addition, the view was also slightly degraded. I tied this to the salve that I used. In the leaflet I read stood that some temporary blurred vision was normal. So I trust the doctors. If two doctors says the same, it will be surely ok?!

Thursday, March 1st, I went along with Maud to the musical "Soldier of Orange" . Along the way I held a towel before my eyes. I was lucky that it soon got dark that night. Once there, I view rigorous taped. First the salves in the eye, then gauze over it, then black paper, then a large piece of gauze and finally a patch. I really enjoyed watching the musical. What a wonderful and great spectacle! Afterwards I was happy like a child to experience this. I cried because of that happiness. It was for the first time since 4 weeks, I was in a different environment. On our way home Maud and I discus what we should do. We knew that met Dr. Moes next day. Our judgment was that I wanted a second opinion or go to the eye-hospital. Actually I only wanted to remove the eye…

Friday, March 2 was an important day on the road to clarity. In my next blog you will read how that day was!